Do You Need to Grieve Your Dreams?

Written By: Chelsea 

Lately I've been feeling a lot of resistance around work.

In my girlfriends text thread this week, I typed out what may be the truest thing I have ever said about myself: 

 

If you're like me, then it's likely you have a lot of interests and passions, and chances are you might even be pretty good at some of them.

It may just be my lifelong avoidance of anything I had no innate talent at (looking at you sports, math, improv, and extreme physical exertion of any kind...), but I like to consider myself quite capable at a good many things.

I love to craft and sew, I am good video editor, I'm extremely tech savvy and can figure out most any issue with a well placed Google search, I like to write and think I'm ok at it (you're reading this, so you can support or deny that claim!) and maybe the obvious here, I'm a dang good singer and singing teacher.

I bet you could come up with a pretty hefty list of talents yourself; we've all got them and it's worth giving yourself credit for!

The thing about having a variety of interests and skills is deciding where and how to spend your time, and how that plays out in your career choice.

When I decided nearly a decade ago to stop auditioning and turn all my efforts to teaching voice and building my private studio... I was scared out of my mind.

I wrestled with the transition for months, if not years...

Maybe a year ago, I came across this TedX talk from a woman named Liz Kimball, she's a coach for fellow creatives.

A line from that talk that I wish I had then, and am in desperate need of reminding today:

"What if a dream... is a big meaningful project? A vehicle to take us through the next stage of our evolution, instead of yet another reminder that the wholeness lives outside of ourselves. What if our dreams don't define us?"

What if... we gave ourselves permission to ebb and flow with our goals, dreams, and careers as we feel moved to so?

What if... we didn't harbor shame when we didn't reach the big, visible pinnacle of our field, and instead chose to pivot?

What if... we let our talents and innate abilities guide us to ways of expressing ourselves that feel fulfilling? Instead of trying to fit our square peg into an industry's round hole?

This is all big, existential talk, so what might that *actually* look like for us as performers?

• Not scrambling to submit a self tape for every call listed online. Instead, thoughtfully considering what roles/shows/jobs resonate with you and consciously creating tapes for those alone. 
• Taking the 9-5 job for right now, because your brain and your bank account is craving stability
• Scratching the "should I move to NYC and pursue my dreams?" itch by taking online classes with NYC directors, casting directors, choreographers, etc.
• Moving out of NYC when the yearning to be somewhere else takes priority

In her TedX talk, Liz Kimball goes on to say:

“We tell our young people to go for their dreams, which is of course important. But we don’t do enough telling them that it is ok to let go of a dream or to change it or to outgrow it. We don’t tell them enough that history is equally shaped by never giving up on your dream as it is by brave people making left turns when everyone is yelling at you to turn right. What if our dreams are containers for our next becoming? Instead of a measure of our ultimate worth.”

As for me, I'm going to consider what my dreams are pushing me towards when it comes to my day-to-day work and commitments.

Because being "overcommitted and chaotic" is not something I want to continue, no matter how catchy that branding sounds, lol.

I don't know what that might be yet, but I know that if I'm brave enough to try new things, I'll figure it out.

Are you feeling pushed or pulled into a new stage of life or career? I wanna hear about it. Send us an email at [email protected]!